Dealing With (Paralyzing) Fear

[Monique]

As one of the few people here who has ridden mountain bikes with Amy, I just want to emphasize that she's correct when she says she doesn't get "gripped" the same way mountain biking.

One difference I note is that when you get to a tough section on your mountain bike, you can walk. That's ... not exactly a great option for skiing, and it's a completely no-go on steeps.

Sometimes I like to tackle scary terrain alone so there is no pressure.

I have done this. I like the freedom to just kind of putter around, scope out the run, look at a few different entrances and lines, pick the right song on my Shuffle - without worrying about what anybody else out there is doing.

Best to only do the "scary" trail when conditions are perfect, but do it enough on those days that the trail stops being scary on those days.

^^^^ YES! Although from what I understand from past posts, I think Amy has had the gripped experience even on easier trails when conditions are meh. Bad conditions lead to what, for lack of a better term, is a bit of PTSD around a past injury in sloppy snow. So I think it's a little different from a run of the mill "I've done this run a million times, it's just a little crudded up!" reaction.

I question why you are going on terrain that makes you uncomfortable? Maybe you are making too big of a jump, possibly you need to master slightly more manageable terrain and only then move up or go back up.

This is a good point, although sometimes it is hard to gauge that transition - especially because people feel a little different every day, and of course conditions are different every day.

Forgive me if this is a dumb question, but for the people who feel fear at the top of a steep run, what specifically are you scared of? Is it a fear that you could get hurt if you fall? Or something else?

I'm not always afraid at the top of a steep run, but if I am, it's definitely fear of getting hurt. I'd be interested to know if there's some other reason people are afraid in those situations (aside from being afraid of skiing it poorly, which is definitely also a thing I experience!).

First, remember that skiing is supposed to be fun. To look at it as a daily challenge and skiing lines that are very challenging and make you stricken with fear - that's not fun. Plus (important) do not feel like you have to impress anybody. Living up to others expectations is a phobics worst enemy. If you absolutely feel that you have to conquer the steeps, try a little at a time. Back off the minute that you feel the panic setting in. Always give yourself an escape route.

One thing I do remember from Blakeslee's book is to challenge yourself on either terrain or technique, but never both at the same time. Pick your runs as best you can so they are steep within your envelope where you can use good form. As you go on, you will gradually increase your comfort zone on gradually steeper slopes and continue your good form and good control. You can do this even by choosing which side of some runs you pick. Often one side is steeper, one side less steep, your choice.

What I took from the book relates to the two above quotes.

1) Start wayyyyyy more slowly than you think you need to. Meaning, just because you skied X successfully doesn't mean you promote yourself to the next difficulty level just yet. I used this one heavily when getting back into mountain biking after a previous injury. Weirdly, it felt like by holding myself back, when I finally decided to ride something harder, I quickly got back to form and then surpassed my previous confidence levels (and then got hurt again, so maybe fear isn't the worst thing).

2) (Similar to what Scotty I. is saying) When you do challenge yourself and feel good about it, don't throw yourself right at another challenge again. Go back to your baseline a bit.

 

[Core2]

Skiing is the happiest thing in the world. No idea how anyone could be scared of it. You are scared of living life not skiing.

 

[Muleski]

Is the footage of Todd Brooker's career ending crash at Kitz really helpful to this discussion? I was there and it was terrifying.

Big kudo's to @AmyPJ and @surfsnowgirl for being so brave to discuss this so openly.

My hunch tells me that mastery of your skills on terrain that you are very comfortable with, then working up in challenge and terrain a bit, until you are comfortable on that, and so on is the way to go. Like climbing stairs, one step at a time. It will take time.

In a fairly lengthy ski career, some of the most miserable experiences that I have witnessed are when women, for the most part, have been pushed to challenge themselves in this respect. I can't recall many women doing the nudging. I have seen husbands, SO's, BF's....and generally they are what I would refer to as aspirational skiers. They seem to think that this "challenging themselves to ski that" is a good thing. Is it?

Two winters ago we were at Vail, catching up with family there. We were doing laps in Mongolia. Riding up the lift, my wife said "Look at that. I hate to see that." A young woman was struggling to ski down a skied out part of China Bowl, and was just frozen. Her male friend was encouraging her, loudly. We made a lap and on the way back up, we noticed that they may have moved 30 feet. She was in tears, shoulders heaving. He was screaming that "you can do this."

We get off the lift, and Mom heads left, saying "I'll catch you at the bottom, probably next run." She evidently skied down to them. Mom rips, and is a super kind 60 year old. She asks if she can help, and says something like "I have been skiing with my husband for 40 years, and we have our moments!"

She suggests that he ski down and that they can meet him. Hey, even take a lap. He and she agree. She's teary, he's embarrassed. My wife tells them not to be upset. This will be OK.
So she traverses behind my wife to the section of the Bowl that's groomed. They stop for a few minutes. Then my wife suggests that she follow her. Let's have some fun. Makes about two turns. They talk. They she makes about three. They stop. When it starts to get flat, my wife is following her and she is fine.

My wife hangs out with her, they become big buddies. Our crew shows up, at almost the same time as her husband. My wife introduces them to us, just like they're friends. No embarassment. All good.

My wife rides up with them. Takes a pic of them at the top. On the way up she had nicely and wisely suggested that they ski where she would feel really comfortable, but where he might test himself a bit. Gave them some ideas. Off they went.

My wife's cell phone rings at about 4:30. It's this couple. Having a beer, in the sun, asking if my wife would join them. She walked by, and did not join them, but did hug them.

I think her message was that this was a long term thing, and that the more mileage, the more comfort. But to "challenge" yourself, too much, was rarely fun. I think she basically was trying to tell the guy that he was fortunate to have a partner who skied, etc. Guess he was no WCer BTW.

We have seen this with at least a dozen couples who we have met through a variety of factors at our home hill. People who started as adults. We have always encouraged them, helped them get more confident over the years, and have never pushed them. In time, they came to be able to comfortably get down everything that we'd ever want to ski, and do so quite well. They take it at their speed and turn shape, do fine and have fun.

I'm not sure that skiing with a posse that pushes you far out of your current comfort zone is all that great. You know when you are ready to try and truly master more. Take it in steps. The elephant analogy is a good one. One bite at a time.

We have one section of a trail that is near the bottom of a lift, the upper section of the trail is really nice gradual intermediate terrain at the top. Maybe a touch steeper at the very top. Super gentle in the middle. At the bottom is a wide and relatively very steep pitch. It's always groomed. When the snow is "right", it is a great spot to build some confidence. One side is a bit more gentle. Not much We have skied it with "developing friends" SO many times. Couple of turns at time, then three, then four. We'll stop at the bottom and look up and congratulate them. Normally we'll be asked to do it again.

I then encourage them, saying that if they can ski that section, they can ski anything on the mountain. ANYTHING. If they take it at their comfort level. Their speed, their turns. Stop when you want to. As often as you want. It seems to work. A few years later some of those women launch off the top without stopping at the lip, rip off a half dozen fast sharp arcs, and head off for the lift. Pretty cool.

I'm not an instructor. I have been a long time coach {no longer}. Just been sort of common sense. We treasure time skiing with good friends of all sorts of abilities. It should be fun. I guess we have always let others determine what might be fun. When somebody utters " we don't want to hold you up", we chuckle and say no way. Love it all, fun to catch up with them.

We bought our first ski house at our current home area 27 years ago. With kids in programs as soon as they could be, we have made a lot of great friends. We also had friends there, who we had skied and raced with in college. It is pretty cool to see how almost all of those adults, new to the sport really grew into great skiers, pretty steadily. We can all ski together.

I understand the fear. I'm sure you can and will become very confident in your skiing. Master the terrain, then slowly work it up. Inch by inch. Step by step. I bet you can visualize the type of terrain that would be a good next step. Go find it and master it. Crush it!

At some point the really steep will still look really steep, but not fearful, as you will know that you have all of the tools to ski it.....with an ear to hear smile on your face!

One more step....

 

[Pat AKA mustski]

Skiing is the happiest thing in the world. No idea how anyone could be scared of it. You are scared of living life not skiing.

That is a ridiculously simplistic thing to say! Skiing is fantastic and that is why we are all here, but to suggest that there is no terrain on this planet that would frighten you? Come one. You just haven't seen it yet. She isn't afraid of living! She is one of the bravest people I have met. You should see the competition horseback riding she does! However, she freezes up in certain ski conditions in certain types of terrain. I get that. I freeze up in steep bumps - even super soft, steep bumps. For me, it's the fear that I can't do it. This will always be amplified if there is a drop off on one side of the run. Then I fear that I will ski right off the side and be unable to turn in time to stop myself. It is a completely unreasonable fear ... but then, I can't kill rattlesnakes either. It's why I got married. Someone has to kill the ugly, dangerous things. It turns out he is also pretty darn good at talking me through the bump runs that terrify me.

Amy, if you have a guy who is patient and will talk you through tough stuff, he's a keeper!

 

[mdf]

...a bit of PTSD around a past injury in sloppy snow

Well yeah, that's a big difference. I am fortunate never to have been seriously injured skiing. (Both of my ACL ruptures were low-trauma events that I skied away from.)

 

[Monique]

Is the footage of Todd Brooker's career ending crash at Kitz really helpful to this discussion? I was there and it was terrifying.

Big kudo's to @AmyPJ and @surfsnowgirl for being so brave to discuss this so openly.

My hunch tells me that mastery of your skills on terrain that you are very comfortable with, then working up in challenge and terrain a bit, until you are comfortable on that, and so on is the way to go. Like climbing stairs, one step at a time. It will take time.

In a fairly lengthy ski career, some of the most miserable experiences that I have witnessed are when women, for the most part, have been pushed to challenge themselves in this respect. I can't recall many women doing the nudging. I have seen husbands, SO's, BF's....and generally they are what I would refer to as aspirational skiers. They seem to think that this "challenging themselves to ski that" is a good thing. Is it?

Two winters ago we were at Vail, catching up with family there. We were doing laps in Mongolia. Riding up the lift, my wife said "Look at that. I hate to see that." A young woman was struggling to ski down a a skied out part of China Bowl, and was just frozen. Her male friend was encouraging her, loudly. We made a lap and on the way back up, we noticed that they may have moved 30 feet. She was in tears, shoulders heaving. He was screaming that "you can do this."

We get off the lift, and Mom heads left, saying "I'll catch you at the bottom, probably next run." She evidently skied down to them. Mom rips, and is a super kind 60 year old. She asks if she can help, and says something like "I have been skiing with my husband for 40 years, and we have our moments!"

She suggests that he ski down and that they can meet him. Hey, even take a lap. He and she agree. She's teary, he's embarrassed. My wife tells them not to be upset. This will be OK.
So she traverses behind my wife to the section of the Bowl that's groomed. They stop for a few minutes. Then my wife suggests that she follow her. Let's have some fun. Makes about two turns. They talk. They she makes about three. They stop. When it starts to get flat, my wife is following her and she is fine.

My wife hangs out with her, they become big buddies. Our crew shows up, at almost the same time as her husband. My wife introduces them to us, just like they're friends. No embarassment. All good.

My wife rides up with them. Takes a pic of them at the top. On the way up she had nicely and wisely suggested that they ski where she would feel really comfortable, but where he might test himself a bit. Gave them some ideas. Off they went.

My wife's cell phone rings at about 4:30. It's this couple. Having a beer, in the sun, asking if my wife would join them. She walked by, and did not join them, but did hug them.

I think her message was that this was a long term thing, and that the more mileage, the more comfort. But to "challenge" yourself, too much, was rarely fun. I think she basically was trying to tell the guy that he was fortunate to have a partner who skied, etc. Guess he was no WCer BTW.

We have seen this with at least a dozen couples who we have met through a variety of factors at our home hill. People who started as adults. We have always encouraged them, helped them get more confident over the years, and have never pushed them. In time, they came to be able to comfortably get down everything that we'd ever want to ski, and do so quite well. They take it at their speed and turn shape, do fine and have fun.

I'm not sure that skiing with a posse that pushes you far out of your current comfort zone is all that great. You know when you are ready to try and truly master more. Take it in steps. The elephant analogy is a good one. One bite at a time.

We have one section of a trail that is near the bottom of a lift, the upper section of the trail is really nice gradual intermediate terrain at the top. Maybe a touch steeper at the very top. Super gentle in the middle. At the bottom is a wide and relatively very steep pitch. It's always groomed. When the snow is "right", it is a great spot to build some confidence. One side is a bit more gentle. Not much We have skied it with "developing friends" SO many times. Couple of turns at time, then three, then four. We'll stop at the bottom and look up and congratulate them. Normally we'll be asked to do it again.

I then encourage them, saying that if they can ski that section, they can ski anything on the mountain. ANYTHING. If they take it at their comfort level. Their speed, their turns. Stop when you want to. As often as you want. It seems to work. A few years later some of those women launch off the top without stopping at the lip, rip off a half dozen fast sharp arcs, and head off for the lift. Pretty cool.

I'm not an instructor. I have been a long time coach {no longer}. Just been sort of common sense. We treasure time skiing with good friends of all sorts of abilities. It should be fun. I guess we have always let others determine what might be fun. When somebody utters " we don't want to hold you up", we chuckle and say no way. Love it all, fun to catch up with them.

We bought our first ski house at our current home area 27 years ago. With kids in programs as soon as they could be, we have made a lot of great friends. We also had friends there, who we had skied and raced with in college. It is pretty cool to see how almost all of those adults, new to the sport really grew into great skiers, pretty steadily. We can all ski together.

I understand the fear. I'm sure you can and will become very confident in your skiing. Master the terrain, then slowly work it up. Inch by inch. Step by step. I bet you can visualize the type of terrain that would be a good next step. Go find it and master it. Crush it!

At some point the really steep will still look really steep, but not fearful, as you will know that you have all of the tools to ski it.....with an ear to hear smile on your face!

One more step....

Excellent post. I've seen so many men drag women onto terrain because those men have a different view of fun and satisfaction. One thing I've noticed is that often, men seem to be happy just having gotten down something, while often women don't find that meaningful unless they feel they skied it well. I remember one time when, after a harrowing descent, my husband pointed up the hill and said, Look what you skied! He wanted me to feel proud, but I wasn't, because it had been a mess. Note: actually, it was an instructor who TF'd me on that day. Husband was just there.

Nowadays, it would be a warmup run ... but that took a lot of time on skis.

 

[markojp]

Wow! Great thread! On the note on getting people down, my experience is very much as Muleski describes his wife's tactics. It works... one traverse or turn at a time and always talk in a normal conversational (not over confident, just matter of fact) tone of voice, stop, regroup as necessary, and continue down. For what it's worth AmyPJ, I had this happen with a patroller in a clinid I was leading and used Mrs. Mule's method pretty much verbatim. They were all good skiers, but a couple just weren't used to some of the terrain and perceived exposure. The good thing was after round one, they all wanted to go do it again and again to get it really dialed in, so that's what we did for the rest of the session that day! It was great seeing someone get their mojo and really build their confidence! For fun, I dug up a picture that I keep of a gut check experience ...

The upper picture was taken late in the day on a sunbaked Saturday afternoon, last run while touring. Things were sloppy. What you just barely see in the brown spots at the right of the frame are a part of a large glide crack that we had to drop over. It was about 8 feet wide and 15-20ft deep. Getting over it wasn't bad, but the snow in the landing zone wasn't good. I made that one turn pictured to shut things down a bit (trying hard for a lower edge angle to make a 'soft' turn) and bee lined up to the small spine where my partner (who took the pict) was standing. I was worried that the whole thing would just let go when I landed. It was just a bad decision to be there at that time of day. We'd skied this line before in safer conditions and it was always amazing, but that day it was just stupid. After we got over the glide crack, we picked our way down about 1k more verticle trying to stay out of any natural slide paths.

The lower right, morning of day 2: I'm standing looking down a very steep entrance to a pitch we'd wanted to do for awhile, but the conditions weren't right, or we'd been with other folks we didn't want to put in a position that would force anyone to ski something well beyond their comfort level. The top 5-6 turns were around 50 degrees both give and take and the first required a drop to start, then gradually mellowing into a nice apron. Not a super long pitch at all, just a small pucker at the top. The conditions were perfect, but in the picture, I'm standing there looking over the edge completely gripped. I was still freaked out over the day before. It was like having temporary PTSD... I thought about it the entire skin up. I stood there for probably a good 30-40 minutes before I could get myself to drop in. The first two turns, I did the double pole plant square up and make sure you survive thing. Not styl'in stuff, but it was all OK. Honestly, even if I had fallen, it would have been a lond slide down a nice apron... no rocks or glide cracks. Pretty low risk all in all .We skied 3 more pitches that day, all steep, all amazing, all with more potiential risk, and all in normal head space, but I will never forget skiing in that previous afternoon and feeling that we'd dodged a big, very stupid bullet of our own making.

I guess the point is, 'gripped' happens. We've all looked at stuff and have just said, " no... un un.... not today." No one should beat themselved up about it or feel pressured to ski something that just doesn't feel good, but if we get there, having Mrs. Muleski's tactics in our mental bag of tricks is the magic mayo on the BLT. Lot's of small gems of great advice in this thread. Thanks for sharing Amy and Snowsurfgirl! Anyhow, time for bed.

 

[oldschoolskier]

I going to give an example of how a uncontrolled hinter brain fear developed and was conquered.

Over 30 years ago, the girl that introduced my wife and I took a broken fencing blade into the chest 4ft away while I was watching, 1/8” deeper would have killed her. 1 in a million accident. Messed me up competing for a while.

Solution, upgrade under jacket (latest safety standard, AKA new security blankie).

The second once I had the blankie was develop a sense of “if in doubt, attack, if it kills you it was the wrong decision” attitude. This was more important than the blankie.

It’s like the old driving instruction, look where you want to go, not at what you want to avoid.

In skiing believe in your skill and go for it, don’t believe and you will fall, making the fear worse.

To date, I apply this if in doubt attack idea, and nothing seems to hold me back in any avenue in life.

Hopefully one of these ideas rings true for you and let’s you embrace it.

 

[dj61]

I'm trying to get my head in the right place and start visualization and other such things to prepare myself for a less fearful ski season. Last year was by FAR my worst year on skis in terms of panic attacks. Mostly on steeps. (Actually, only on steeps, no matter how deep and fluffy the snow was.) I've had the fortunate luck of skiing with several L3 instructors (including currently dating one, who had the patience of a saint with me last year.) But, once my fear kicked in, there was a lot of shoulder shrugging and frustration on their part.

What happens? I get to the top of a steep pitch, and freeze. I literally.can't.move. Terror takes over, oftentimes after I make one turn, then feel out of control, then it's really all over. I had to sideslip or traverse out of several spots last season, embarrassed and in tears.

An interesting scenario happened at Grand Targhee under the Chief Jo chair (for those who are familiar.) Day 1: foggy, soft and somewhat choppy, but I just went and did fine. I was definitely scared, but I did it. Next day? Sunny, and I could see to the bottom. It's a LONG way down. I froze and stood there for a good 30 minutes, trying to sideslip, but I was so stiff and defensive, nothing worked. I cry, I throw fits of anger (I KNOW I can do this!)

I was dealing with a LOT of upheaval in my life last season, which I know didn't help. I kind of lost my joy for skiing; I also felt, as an employee on the mountain, this pressure to ski "really well".

My skills in powder and chop/crud improved a lot last year, but steeps? I took a step back. Stuff I skied the previous two seasons with either no trouble or very little trouble, I literally panicked on.

Here's what's interesting. I ride my mountain bike at a pretty fast clip and the instructors I skied with last year who have biked with me are kind of confused at how I can ride that way, yet am extremely tentative on skis. I have no answers, other than I learned to bike as a kid, but ski as an adult. But, I learned to mountain bike just 3 years ago.

So, for those of you who instruct, what are some tools you use to bust through fear? If you get out on the hill and your client, who skis pretty well, suddenly freezes on a section and you can tell they have officially checked out and need to be brought back to earth, what do you do?

(Just finished "A Conversation With Fear, BTW. I could relate SO well, and it definitely made me realize I'm not alone.)

Amy, skiing steeps IS scary. When you learn something as a kid, you are mostly unaware of the immanent dangers. So riding your bike does not evoke anxiety with you. My wife (who is a psychoanalyst by the way) loved riding horses ever since she was a little girl. She rode them fast! A couple of years ago she suddenly realised how dangerous that was. Thought she could fall, break her neck, be paralysed for the rest of her life. That fear was real. Riding horses fast has immanent risks. So she had to quit. She actually stopped riding.
Of course it is true that the better you ski, the less the threat. But the fact is that you will probably not progress since you feel the fear. You may have more fun skiing different stuff. And don't let anybody (including yourself) push you to do anything you are not comfortable doing. That is not only risky, that is dangerous.

 

[da-cat]

I have been there: knowing I have to be committed once I jump into that steep fall line. Everyone has a different level of fear - like a downhill racer can be comfortable at top speed on any incline but some cannot see an easy first step onto a steep slope.
Pick a plan of action with a path in mind- there is no shame in using the full width of the slope left to right and back left etc. until you arrive at the less inclined location you have sighted ahead when you began your decent.
Of course most steep expert slopes begin pretty narrow- here one can side - slide without speed until ready to make a move.
Back in the 1970's when I skateboarded with the best and latest equipment of the day- like a G&S Fiberflex, with wide tracker trucks and RoadRider 4 wheels- I once concoured the steepest hill in town and was the only one there ever to do it: I literally turned left and right to the point of turning uphill, cutting back then instantly holding that turn until I was again pointing uphill, it required the full width of the road to do this.
I am not saying this is always possible on a steep snow covered trail on skis but the theory is valid- traversing 90 degrees against the fall-line but don't block the trail.
It has been said, and from such unlikely sources as an advanced safe driving course- focus on where you want to go- not the hazard ahead.
If you see a tree- don't focus on the tree but instead focus on the safe place beside it, the destination that you wish to reach.
*** I have a feeling I am about to be blasted for advising people to ski from left
to right- my suggestion is for the lone skier- if the slope is so steep that you have to cut across the fall line obviously this shouldn't be done with other skiers above*** and this advice is equal to if you don't have the ability to safely ski the slope you are on than it goes without saying you should wait until the hill is clear as well.

 

[Philpug]

I feel like this is Fear Anonymous meeting...Hi, I'm Phil and I have fears..... Hi Phil...

I have more fear mountain biking now than I ever have..I look at what could go wrong in a situation verses what could go right. Rocks are hard and the ground hurts. Sadly since @Tricia's accident a few year back, she is in the same boat. Have these fears been projected on one another? Maybe, maybe not and if so it is not fair either way. You know what? We are fine with it and have accepted the fact that we just don't enjoy aggressive mountain biking on anything more than what you might consider a green or blue trail. Are we wimps now? Some might say so but we have found other things that we enjoy in place of it.

I have much more comfortable on skis than I ever was...but more so on the ground. I don't like being in the air as much as I did when I was younger. Last season was the first season ever that I did not do a helicopter...why? probably because of the fear of failure. Failure to get all around, that 270* that slams you on the ground, maybe the fear of embarrassment of not doing it, not sure.

I won't even get into the fears of launching Pugski. The fears of the unknown from when we were released from Epic. As they say, that is a whole 'nother talk show.

 

[markojp]

More like 'fear unanimous'. Man, don't get me going on mt.biking... I've fallen on road bikes a fair amount, unusually a couple times a season in way back when in the race days. Got a mt. bike and on about ride three crashed hard on some rocks and got a trip to the hospital. Nothing broken, just lots of bruises, but more painful than any crash I've ever had on a road bike... Sold the mt. bike (it was ok) about a month after that and have never had another one. Never learned to surf because of absolutely irrational fear of sharks. Scared of heights (the old chair 6 at Crystal Mt., rock climbing which I gave up, trying to get skis on in steep terrain when touring... once the skis are on, I'm fine!) as well.

 

[Lauren]

There's many common themes here in order to deal with fear and anxiety, one that resonates with me is the "one step at a time", or "eat an elephant one bite a time" (which I'm not sure about eating an elephant...so being from NH I'm going replace elephant with moose). I've had plenty of fears, but the only time I've only had one "unexplainable" breakdown.

I used to do a 24 hour MTB race, in which I never really liked the laps at night, I wanted to like them, but I never could really get over the fear of them. The last race I did, I had a complete, hyperventilate, tears, what I believe to be an anxiety attack mid-run. I stopped more times than I wanted to, over this fear of....? Falling? Not seeing well enough? Not going fast enough? Critters lurking in the woods? Who knows.

When I got back, I set an alarm for my next lap, and went to nap for an hour or two. When my alarm went off, I knew it was almost time to do another lap, which brought back all of those thoughts and feelings, including the tears. I didn't want to do it...but at the same time, I WANTED to. Finally after a deep breath (okay, more like 10 deep breaths), I decided to take it step by step. Step 1...put pants on (just think about putting on pants, nothing else). Step 2...get out of tent and eat a granola bar...just eat the bar, that is all. Eventually these small steps led me to check in for my lap, take to the course one segment at a time. At most times the segment I thought about was only as far as I could see (10 feet or so).

Sometimes the big picture is so overwhelming, but small steps are quite manageable. And in the end, the small steps create a big picture for you to look back on.

 

[T-Square]

Try something simple. SING! While skiing of course. Gets your mind occupied elsewhere. Even if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

 

[Philpug]

There's many common themes here in order to deal with fear and anxiety, one that resonates with me is the "one step at a time", or "eat an elephant one bite a time" (which I'm not sure about eating an elephant...so being from NH I'm going replace elephant with moose). I've had plenty of fears, but the only time I've only had one "unexplainable" breakdown.

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Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III
Miss Taylor's Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG Møøses' noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER
Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level Geography by BO BENN
Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER
Antler-care by LIV THATCHER
The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.
The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.​

 

[Muleski]

"Fear Unanimous" is on point. I think we all have it. I also think it creeps in as we get older, maybe wiser, or at least a bit more contemplative. I never feared heights, and now in more situations I'm not comfortable.
I used to do a lot of ocean sailboat racing, and was often the guy who would be the first up the mast to fix problems. Sometimes at night, in a lot of wind, with heavy seas. 70-80 feet above the deck. While racing. The thought of it just petrifies me now. Heck the "wrong" chair with no safety bar can get me anxious.
I'm never going up a mast again, and I just plow through the chairlift stuff. Don't look down!
I'm right with you guys on real MTN biking. It hurts a lot to wreck. So, I ride slower and on pretty scenic trails. Not a single thing that could be described as technical.
We used to do a lot of SCUBA diving. Reasonably deep. Now, just snorkeling. Much more relaxing.
Our son started doing a lot of rock climbing 15 or so years ago. He has never really had the time to make it a serious passion. Like climbing all the time. Many of his friends have. If they are not on snow, they climb. They have lost a couple of friends. Our son told me that he was selling most of his climbing gear. He doesn't do it enough to be confident and have much of the skills become second nature. He also jokes that it's better to be about 140 lbs as a climber than 200 lbs.
That decision is much like one that I made to sell my last motorcycle a number of years ago. I wasn't riding enough anymore, lost my instincts, was "thinking too much", and got spooked. Thought, nope, not for me. Four wheels are better! If we lived in a more rural area, and I could ride all the time,it would be totally different, I think.
Seems like we all go through this.

I do think there is a logical way to approach it with respect to skiing. Icy, narrow, steep couloirs with tech bindings? That is going to take yours truly some time. They say: "Dad, you've got this!" I reply "Sure do!" Sort of. Maybe. Kind of. Slow and deliberate. Stand on that edge. BTDT.

 

[Uke]

And now for something completely different

 

[Mendieta]

I feel like this is Fear Anonymous meeting.

Yes, Though I think @AmyPJ intended this to be a "Panic" meeting instead Meaning, freezing pain. Still, lots of good info.

 

[fatbob]

I'm still trying to get my head round the paralyzing fear?

If I understand correctly there is fear, hesitation or being gripped that many of us get periodically and sometimes illogically.

So people have tried to offer their own insights into how they deal with that.

But the OP seems to be talking about a form of paralysis which goes beyond that to which the a ski related answer isn't necessarily appropriate. Is it akin to the person who freezes on stage or public speaking or any other kind of debilitating anxiety? And to which the answer might be somewhere in the psycholgist/counsellor toolbox.

 

[Guy in Shorts]

Standing in a harness looking down at the 30’ tethered free fall drop that I was about to do my brain told my feet to step off but my feet didn’t listen. Weird feeling when the body fails to listen to the brain.